What is But a Name?

The Morgana Question:

By Morgan Pettersson.

I have started to question whether to change my name or not.

I say this in all seriousness.

I have always had a complex regarding my name ever since my family stopped calling me Morgan Hannah when I was six.

Morgan always sounded like a boy’s name to me, and if I had a dollar for every person who met me and stated that I had a boy’s name life would be much different.

I was called Morgan Hannah on and off until the year my cousin was born, and my Aunty named her Hannah, and so the name was forever lost on me.

A name is something so superficial and yet something that has always bothered me at the back of my mind.

It is something that can often define someone, for example when you hear people say ‘oh that’s a strong, confident name, they will go far!’.

Recently whilst in Greece I had a name epiphany.

Whilst learning Greek I was told that my name simply could not be, as it was neither feminine nor masculine and therefore I was simply an object.

Instead of being referred to as girl Morgan, it was the Morgan, such as you would refer to a piece of furniture.

People began to call me Morgana as a way of making me sound and seem like a girl.

I resented it at first, as the name conjured up images of an old witch in my mind.

Yet over the next few months I began to identify with the name, and it began to feel right.

There are even friends who I have met since being back home in Australia who call me Morgana, and I love it.

My family think it is the strangest identity crisis that I have had so far, but it has gotten me thinking.

What is a name?

It is something which we are given at birth, which we do not choose, but with which we let shape our lives.

It commonly instantly defines your gender, not so much in my case.

The Oxford English dictionary defines a name as being:

“A word or set of words by which a person or thing is known, addressed, or referred to.”

There is no rule that you have to keep the name of your birth.

It would also ease the confusion any time I am in a German-speaking country where the use of my name in a sentence often leads to confusion about why the word morning was used (the German word for morning being Morgen).

It is also not something drastic, like deciding I want to be now referred to as Sarah.

It is not a hard adjustment to make, simply adding one little letter to my name, which thereby revolutionises its whole meaning.

The question that remains is should I continue to introduce myself as Morgana, or revert back to the  name I was born with.

The name that was only chosen because my father was in the midst of his Greg Norman golf obsession and because he had a daughter a few months before named Morgan, and therefore I had to be named that too.

I am still not sure.

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